a fool's paradise

It's a well-known fact, a global phenomenon, that personal and work relations, the very concepts of privacy, friendship, etc., have been undergoing radical and irreversible changes in contemporary society, for manifold reasons. Yet Japan seems to be well ahead of other societies in some of the most disturbing manifestations of the phenomenon.

I never cease to be amazed at the outright contradiction between the Japanese pressure to conform to certain types of 'hyper-polite' behaviour & formulas in the public sphere, and the general self-absorption, lack of solidarity and care, indifference, discourtesy and unresponsiveness to others that so many of them display in their personal lives (when they have one, of course). But doesn't a solid, good education begin in the private sphere? Something must be terribly amiss when most people think and act as though it's the other way round. It's amazing indeed how the Japanese aversion to individuality in the public sphere can foster the most outrageously rude and selfish behaviours in personal relations.

One of the aspects that most upsets me is the unreliability of friendship in this country, and about which I have written here a while ago. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that most people seem to have lost any capacity for graceful behaviour towards acquaintances and, above all, towards what they take as 'friends'. And by graceful behaviour I mean simple gestures such as replying to an e-mail (which doesn't need to take more than 2-3 minutes), responding to (i.e. giving feedback on) somebody's work, spontaneously accepting an invitation, making the time to attend an event in which a friend participates, and so on and so on...

People tell me, over and over again, that life is way too difficult these days (but has it ever been easy?), that their workload is way too heavy and drains away all energy to be with friends and especially to make new ones (not to mention the most basic need to have a sex life...), blah-blah-blah. Well, while feeling very sorry for these state of affairs, I dare say that most of these arguments are just lame excuses on the part of people who have simply lost all capacity to define the true priorities in life - namely life itself - and have become too wrapped up in themselves, narrow-minded and unresponsive to anyone or anything that might unsettle or question their regimented stupid routines and habits of thought, their functioning as mere cogs in a ruthless machine. In sum, bad excuses on the part of people who have lost all capacity to be humane, or simply human.

When someone/something is perceived as genuinely meaningful, worthwhile, people do make the time to respond. But the sad truth is that most individuals these days just don't care for anyone except themselves or those that are immediately useful to them - in smaller and smaller, paranoid closed circles of acquaintances and 'friends', despite their being under the delusion of being connected to everyone and the whole world through mobile phones, YouTube, social networking websites, etc., etc.

And thus the appalling contrast between the illusory hustle and bustle of the city outside and the profoundly isolated, narrow, secluded non-existence most people seem to live here.

Cities like Tokyo are castles in the air, a fool's paradise...