advice to a friend (and to myself)

Goya, Saturn Devouring his Infants (1821-23)

Yes, you who must leave everything
That you cannot control
It begins with your family
But soon it comes round to your soul. . . .


Listening to Leonard Cohen's good old Sisters of Mercy, I feel tempted to add that there is a time when you must leave behind those who, with the best of intentions, block out your daylight, suck your very lifeblood, your will to live and seek a little happiness and self-reliance, devouring you alive.

It's whether you or them, no matter how painful or cruel it might seem to others - and especially to yourself. The most important choices have never been easy, never. But there are times when we must summon the strength and turn the tables. The turning might take very long, or perhaps not. The important thing is that it happens because you prepared yourself for it and need it in the same way that you need fresh air to breathe properly. No one can live under the water for that long.

And, yes, remember: sometimes, to find yourself, you have to get rid of yourself...