a modest proposal

As readers of this little corner have probably noticed, the hardships endured by foreigners trying to live, make friends and stay sane in Japan have been a long-standing concern of mine (see here and here and here e.g). Hence I can't remain indifferent to the assumptions and advice contained in an article like this one recently published in The Japan Times (thanks, Antonio!), consisting of interviews with three long-term residents, two of whom are now Japanese nationals.

The article is a bit too long to reproduce here, so I'll just refer interested readers to the link. I must say, however, that I have serious misgivings about the blokeish, patronising, and ultimately self-satisfied tenor of the remarks on the part of both the interviewer and the interviewees. On the one hand, it rightly points the finger at Japanese xenophobia, general attitudes of distrust towards others outside their inner circle, shocking social inequalities and stuffy hierarchies. Yet, on the other hand, it winds up with the complacent and spurious reasoning that there's nothing much to worry about since these problems afflict not only foreigners but the Japanese themselves, especially if they belong to some disadvantaged social group or dare be different from the rest of the herd. There's even a politically correct bow to 'gay and transgender individuals' --- nice! How very... inclusive.

Interestingly, the solution offered by the three 'wise men' is not to fight and try to change these unacceptable inequalities and discriminations. Nope. The answer to the problem is 'understanding and flexibility in making the most of life in Japan':

'Compared to some other countries, people in Japan have extremely different sets of values and ways of reasoning. But if you can understand these differences and the reasons for them you can stop feeling anti," [Peter Barakan] explains. "Try to understand this society and the people as best you can. People are people.'

Wise words of advice and sound reasoning indeed. Oscar Wilde's equally wise words and reasoning echo in my mind: 'whatever is understood is right'... Go with the flow and preserve the status quo --- and thou shall thrive in Japan! (shall I presume that the advice to those who don't is perhaps: pack your stuff and leave...?) It's certainly no coincidence that the three interviewees are affluent, successful gentlemen in their respective fields: one is a former sumo champion from Hawaii, the other a British musicologist and media talking head, the other still 'the first foreign-born member of the Diet's House of Councilors of European [Finnish] descent'. All of them belonging to fields widely known for their impeccable and transparent ethical standards. The very best that the Japanese peculiar democratic system has to offer, no doubt.

And yet, wouldn't it also be fascinating to hear the views of three successful, high-profile foreign ladies who have made it in Japan by going with the flow and preserving the status quo --- or, shall I perhaps say, through their immense 'understanding and flexibility' towards the deeply entrenched sexism and misogyny of this male-dominated society which generally treats women like chattel and cute accessories, and doesn't hesitate to cowardly trample upon those who fall short of the standards by daring to be articulate and assertive and (God forbid!) intellectual?

Which reminds me of a recent conversation with a Japanese male friend. In response to my half-mocking, half-irritated remark on the general meek and demure performance of Japanese women in public, he defensively argued that the ladies are actually pillars of strength when it comes to household management --- they really have brass balls and know how to handle men with an iron grip! My contrarian nature (so un-lady like, alas) couldn't resist prying further into the matter, and so I asked him what the concept of 'strong' possibly means when referring to a woman in... er... modern Japan. The reply was, of course, exactly what I'd expected and have been observing ever since I set my feet here: 'strong' women are those who stoically humour and put up with their immature, childish partners, and who virtuously give up their brains and careers to stay at home catering to their overworked, mostly absent husbands and raising their little brats to behave in exactly the same way, so that everything remains the same ever after, amen. With women like these, who needs machos indeed? With women like these, why should men ever need to grow up?

And no, gentle reader, I'm not deviating from my original subject matter. What I'd really like to know more about is how foreign --- and especially non-Asian --- women living in Japan feel about and tackle all these typical sexist attitudes and standards (on top of the blatantly discriminatory attitudes most Japanese show towards foreigners in general), and whether they actually manage in the long run to survive and thrive in this transvestite patriarchy by following the advice of our three wise men.

I shall then take my leave with this modest proposal. Dear Charles Lewis & other like-minded wise men, I'm all ears...

Mind the gap, get over it: Japan hands

Charles Lewis asks three wise men from afar for their take on some of the issues that vex long-term foreign residents

By CHARLES LEWIS

The Japan Times: Tuesday, Dec. 28, 2010.


Image: 'Booth babes' bowing and waving in line (http://en.gigazine.net/index.php?/news/comments/20090924_companion_tgs2009_movie/).